LOVE WAS JUST A GAME WE PLAYED WHEN WE WERE YOUNG

I met him when I was 19 and I wish I could say that we’ve been together ever since but somewhere along the lines of life he left and so did I. You see when I was 19 I was wild, I was vivacious. I had a gypsy heart, a restless soul and the most spontaneous of all spirits. I wanted to be here, there and everywhere. He was in his mid 20s, young, vibrant, headstrong and conflicted to say the least.

It must have been love at first sight, because I vividly remember leaving my then boyfriend inorder to make room for him in my rollercoaster of a life. And of all the decisions I’ve made in life; that very quick, hasty and well intentioned decision was the best I ever made. If I could go back in time knowing what I know now, knowing how bittersweet and short lived the relationship would be, I’d do it all over again without hesitation, without second guessing. I’d simply jump right in.

The days were great but they were extremely short. I’d lay up on his bed and he’d be on his little desk making beats, producing music and doing all things music related and the sound of whatever he was working on made the perfect soundtrack for that very moment that I was alive and in love and in his winsome presence.

His oh so familiar scent lingered in the air and gave me a sense of reassurance that I had never known before. He smelt of cigarettes and expensive cologne. But the scent of the cologne overpowered that of the cigarettes to a great extent as he wasn’t that big a smoker, just an occasional one to take off the edge.

I recall how the days would go by so fast whenever I was with him. They’d go as quickly and as silently as they came and the looming darkness was my cue to get up from the comfort of his bed and go home. Uhh!! To be young and in love😍.

The nights were something else. They were just as wild as I was in my younger years. The weed and alcohol were always a recipe for disaster whenever we’d go out because we’d fight, just like lovers do. Kwanza pale 1824 na Nyayo Estate Embakasi😂😂😂. I won most if not all the fights and looking back now I’m pretty sure he let me, because that’s just the kinda guy he is. But anyway the make up sessions were well worth the fights😏.

I know you want to know why I started this article with memories from my younger years. So here we go. I went for a nature walk somewhere in Karen. The place is directly opposite Giraffe Centre.

I thought I had my fears in check but weuh!!! That place was hella scary. When I was walking the trail, I had this irrational but rational fear that something or someone was coming to get me. That somewhere in those thickets monsters, animals, people with ill intentions lie.

I wanted to go back one too many times but mama raised no little bitch so I walked on until I came across this young couple drinking and smoking weed. He was holding her just like B would hold me when we were young, when we were together. That sight took me back to that comforting place in B’s arms where I felt safe and nothing and no one could get me. I stood there thinking, reminiscing about the good old days when he was mine and I was his and we were young and in love. I made a mental note to take him there, if and when he comes back to Kenya, his mother’s land.

I had to cut my walk short because I was inundated with the fear of the unknown. Only God knows what lurks in those thickets and I was determined to keep it that way.

We met at one of his boys’ house. I was halfway dazed by the time he walked in. He talked and talked and the more he talked the more he drew me in and the rest??? well the rest is history with a whole lot of chemistry🥰.

I’ve been listening to Pole by Freddy Jakadongo and you should tooooooo.

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